Toyota Prius: The LunchBox Hybrid
The Hybrid Beast - No Beauty
Why is it always that fixing one thing breaks another? Here, the Toyota peeps wanted to fix the environmental pollution and gas-guzzling issues, yet they just blatantly and cold-bloodedly killed aesthetics. They must have realized at some point that this was one of the ugliest cars to ever make it into production, but it seems like they must have “calculated” or “forecast via statistical and mathematical modeling” that the motivations that drive demand will more heavily weigh the “green” aspect of the car than the “that looks like shit” aspect of the car.
What’s wrong with it? If you have to ask, you need to see the eye-doctor. Then come to us. We’ll punch you in the face, break your kneecaps, and rip off your nails – threatening to do it again unless you start hating the Toyota Prius (do not attempt this at home – or anywhere for that matter). Just look at that thing. Even neutral colors won’t make it look any better. It’s as bland and cheapo-looking as a Ford Taurus from the early 90s (or any Taurus really). If this were a normal car that sucked in gas like all others, no doubt no one would buy them. What’s that? Oh, shitter! It’s actually no better than a normal car – normal meaning a good-looking refined-oil-powered “environment destroyer” – that’s right. Yet the damn hippies still swear by the Prius. Clearly shows you how easy it is to brainwash people with the right marketing. We should start raising a fund to create anti-ads for all the cars that are fugly yet managed to sell with “sexy advertising”. Sexy my ass.
Without any redeeming qualities about it, and any claim to “environmental sensitivity” thrown into the crapper with recent tests, the only people who could get away with this car by still being able to live a relatively normal life (and not be affected by the faces of scorn and words of ridicule) are those who are already “cool enough” in people’s eyes that their coolness distracts the eyes and mind from the car. This might include actors (and of course actresses), singers, or just general ballers that roll in piles of dough. And the only reason they could possibly want this car is precisely to stand out even more and get super-special attention – in a positive light as being “environmentally friendly”. Bullshiznat. The only person/thing who knows what they are talking about when describing this car is Achmed The Dead Terrorist when he calls it a lunch box. Cheapo lunchbox though. Construction worker type – not 3rd-grader-from-wealthy-aristocratic-family type.
