The Fiat Multipla Will Scar Your Eyes
We will take the great wisdom and advice of a PWoT Moderator in the forums of Cracked.com who goes by the name Ripper, and we will attempt to make this site a bit better and more appealing to your sense of sight by including more pictures and having less text. He pointed out that at times the paragraphs turn into a “wasteland of text” that is distracting from the potential it might have for spurring the occasional chuckle. So for chuckling’s sake, we will start busting out the visual media a bit more. Enjoy.
Here is a car that just causes immense pain when you look at it – your eyes hurt, your spirit dies, and any hope you had about the goodness of human civilization just evaporates. The Fiat Multipla is one sorry attempt at design. And to think that this is the exact same company that also produces Ferrari’s and Maserati’s, some of the best-looking cars on the road. Maybe they purposely put all the crappy designers in the lower-end brand of the family to make the high-end cars stand out more. Wouldn’t be a bad strategy – and it’s clearly working. The front of this car looks like some type of insect with a horrible disease that causes its mouth to swell up and bulge out. Those little itty-bitty headlamps just make the car look outright ridiculous and blatantly pathetic. If it’s indeed true that humans are attracted to cars with angry faces, then everyone must inherently hate the Multipla. Its face looks like a Japanese cartoon character that’s just oh-so joyously happy and simply can’t contain his extreme excitement through that awkward grin.
The back is also no good. The paneling is just too flat and too simple. The lights in the back bulge out and the sides look a bit like love-handles. Sometimes you’ve got a car that has a sexy front but an ugly back or vice versa, but here both ends are just unacceptable. At least the back window is big enough that it’s easy for anyone to just smash it into pieces. Whether you’re a good shot or not, when you swing a bat at that (which you should absolutely do if you see one of these) then you’ve got some good surface area and there is a high chance of you just getting it right in the sweet spot.
Worst of all though is the way that the Multipla looks from the side. It gives me goosebumps to look at this and just consider that it’s actually real and not just from some messed up Sci-Fi movie. What the hell is that awkward extra bulge between the hood and the windshield? Sure, when designing a car you might hope to make it “different” and there is not much to change since a car is a car – but why do you have to just go out there and offend people by putting something misshapen and deformed on the roads? The whole thing is just so incredibly disproportional – with windows too big and that weird curvature. Instead of getting a tax credits such as for hybrids and electrics, anyone who is driving one of these should be paying double taxes for imposing a very strong negative externality upon the rest of the world.
Some Ever-So-Clever Ugly Car Comments
We will try to maintain a central focus on our own content and limit access to other sites so that our dear readers think that we’re the only place out there even “thinking” about the aesthetic failures of cars. But sometimes it just seems appropriate to bring in some outside goodies to add some extra flava’ to the mix. We’ll just put it in a category of its own that we’ll call “outside wisdom.”
What convinced us to do this is a site that made us aware of our own little shortcomings. We need some user comments and intense debate about all these cars. Since we don’t have none of that yet, we were intrigued by CarTalk, which had enough quotes from peeps to make a whole page about it. Geez, FuglyRides readers. Get on it! We’re hoping that someday we can do our own little “Funniest reader comments” post. In fact, if you kids get really crackin’ we can do a regular thing. Maybe even vote on it! Man, the options are endless.
For now, we’ve taken the liberty to “transpose” some of the better comments while clearly citing the original source as CarTalk (and even linking it! Seriously. Click it!).
In response to the widely-respected and beloved Pontiac Aztek:
The Plaztek has to be the ugliest hunk of polystyrene ever molded. — Jeff
Let’s face it, not every engineering student gets an “A”. The “D” students need work also. — Bob
That didn’t just get hit with an ugly stick; it came charging out of the ugly forest! — Chris
Looks like it was designed by two separate teams of engineers that started at opposite bumpers and worked their way towards the middle, each unable to talk to the other until they met at the center doorpost. — Nate
People who just love the Scion xB as much as we do:
Is it full of clowns when you buy it? — Tom
Did the cleaning lady take the plans for this out of the trash as a joke — and nobody noticed? — Susie
Its appearance should serve as an innovative but effective first line of defense against car theft. — Sharon
The universally loathed Honda Element:
Looks like the owner thought, “I’d like to own a Hummer, but I work at Foot Locker.” — John
This is what happens when you cross an armored car with a circus midget. — Norb
A rollover would improve its looks! — Terry
And to our favorite, the Chrysler PT Cruiser:
It’s disheartening when I see one with flames that are only PAINTED on. — Marc
My boss drives one and he thinks he’s “cool.” He isn’t. — Amy
Looks like something The Joker would be driving in a Batman movie.” — Kim
And so it goes.