This thing clearly aims to take cars into a whole new dimension by reversing proportions. Instead of low and wide as most cars are, the Nissan Glider concept is clearly trying to create a trend of narrow and tall – or at least taller than it is wide. We should call it the “fish pucker face” period in car design and quickly ban such proportions.

What?!? Exactly. Let’s try to understand the thought-process here. This is Ford: a car manufacturer that is in some incredibly deep doo-doo – as is the car industry as a whole. They continue to make cars. With each one, they have an opportunity to create something that will have mass appeal. They can create a car that will look amazing and will cater to the most people possible. That way they could sell more cars, make more money, and be in less of that doo-doo. But what do they do instead? Create a crazy-ugly commercial panel van?!?! What in the world are they thinking! And they wonder why they’re failing?

Now that they’ve made a car to capture the hearts of the 20-person market that this targets, I really do hope that they create another such beaty that will grab the attention of another 20 folks with deep pockets. What a great business model, clearly. And take a look at that thing. It’s got all the boxiness that any eye hates. It looks incredibly cheapo and it even has a useless elevated roof that just completely eliminates all appeal. Don’t agree that the higher roof is useless? Well sure, you would reasonably think that there has to be a purpose to it. In a way, you’re right. They stretched the car vertically and ruined asthetics even more to make sure that they have space for the ever-so-necessary overhead compartment. Who doesn’t want to be like an airplane these days!

But at least it must be comfortable, no? Oh, yes, of course. In fact, just as comfortable as – once again – an airplane (except even less spacious than coach class):

What the heck is going on here? Some are thinking that it’s “baller” and commenting on the “awesomeness” of this. But let’s get real. I don’t care if it’s just for art – it’s clearly impractical. Why in the world would you want to ride on wooden wheels like it’s 1650 if we have put so much money into making whatever tire technology is considered to be the “best” today? But even besides that, take a look at how ugly the Hummer itself is. A simply artless car – without form, without any distinctive presence (except for it’s overly large size), without any appeal. Looks like no inspiration went into this car – except for only maybe the original hummer, which was even uglier than this of course. Like many of the other cars we’ve looked at, including even yesterday’s Mercedes G-class, it’s way too jagged, boxy, cuby, and just too disconnected among the various dimensions. Eww.

If the wheels had some interesting and unique design, if they even had some creative shape, or just some interesting colors, then sure, maybe it could be somehow considered to be “Art”. But what’s so great about this? Simple wood with simple spikes with simple unfinished tree carvings. What’s the big deal? It’s just ugly – and that’s it. The wheels are oversized and the thinness makes them look just ridiculous and out-of-place. Just don’t do this again – ever. Thanks.

We should be thanking whatever ‘overseer’ we believe in that this is just a concept car. At the same time, we should be praying to the same fella or lady that his never make it into production. Sure, metallic light-green is a nice color and all. But that’s it – if anything. Even worse, many people have blamed Chrysler (the makers of Jeep and this car – yup, the Chrylser that has gone downhill and is clearly not doing better as we can see) for just blatantly and outright-ly copying this car from the video game Halo. So not only is it ugly, but they didn’t even come up with it themselves! If you’re going to copy something anyway, why not make sure your tracing something S.I.C.K. like the Aston Martin One-77. Leave it up to Chrysler/Jeep though to really mess up. Just look at those puny headlights. Like a little creature just looking straight ahead, staring aimlessly, looking clueless. No conviction in that expression at all.

And check out that overly-rounded buttocks. Once again this is that type of example of a car where you wouldn’t know if you’re looking at the front or the back of it were it not for (of course) the position of the steering wheel and the color of the lights. Rounded like that is way out of style. And what are those compartments in the back? What are they holding? Looks like they’re buckets or something. What is this? A car to drive around and water plants? Is this another one of those attempts at making an enviro-mobile? No wonder! That might explain its ugliness. (Just go with this excuse, Jeepo)

Now let’s not get started on the “safety” aspect of this ride. Does it look like there is a roof option? Nope. You’ve gotta deal with it. Wanna ride it in the rain? Well, hopefully you like water. And water at high velocity at that – right in your face. In fact, forget water and rain. Take it out for a spin in any weather on any day, and with that 3-inch-tall windshield you’ll be sure to get some bugs smashed right into your face. If you’re lucky enough, you’ll get some flying insect right in your nose – and with the speed at which it will be traveling it could very well penetrate your brain membrane, rendering you dead, paralyzed, or incoherent for the rest of your life. Enjoy! Oh, and do you like it when your leg dangles freely in the open air? Well no problem! They’ve got you covered. Just put it through the half-door with the big gaping hole and you’ve got yourself a vacation.

Why? That's all. Just tell me why?!?!

What the hell is this? No, seriously! What. The. Hell. Is. This. Are you kidding me? Never mind about all the other ugly cars out there. This makes them look amazing. This thing makes the Prius look like a supercar and the PT “Pity” Cruiser like a “Sexiest Car of the Year” winner.

This was “designed” by MDI, which seems to be French (at least the main site is in French). An open question to these French designers: why would you give the world even more reason to hate the French? Do you hate yourselves? Maybe you’re a group of ex-homeless people who found a pen on the street and stole some napkins from the local croissant shop, and thought that you’d get back at the nation that rendered you without a roof by opening them up for ridicule? If so, then you’re genius!

It’s impossible to understand what got into these people’s heads. I’m certain now that croissants are unhealthy. They clearly mess you up. I don’t know if it’s the vision that got affected or mental state, but whichever it is, I want none of it. Luckily from what it seems this is just a concept car for now, but it’s already waaaay too far into the process just as a concept car. In fact, France might already be busting out some of them onto the streets over there. And it wouldn’t be a surprise if it gets into full-scale production though, since it looks like Tata Motors of India materializes some of the MDI designs – and they already have several hideous-looking kid-mobiles such as the Nano. And if they’ve already got the “Nano” it just seems logical to continue with the Apple name knock-offs to start producing the AirPod – probably soon to be known as just the aPod. If this really makes it out there then I will personally start fund-raising to sponsor a huge multi-national demolition derby where we will have all Nano’s against all aPod’s, and then switch the rules mid-game to make it “every man for himself.” The winner will get a new car, and we’ll blow up the remaining Nano or aPod as the grand finale. I can already see the success of the event. All proceeds will go toward curing the side-effects of croissant consumption.

The AirPod apparently claims to have some super-nifty technology or mechanism by which it can run on compressed air. This makes it a “clean” car that’s “environmentally friendly” and all that crap. What it actually does though is just prove and reaffirm that the new “green revolution” in cars will be a central feeding-ground for FuglyRides.com and for general ridicule worldwide. All of the “green cars” that have been designed so far have been unacceptably and uncomfortably ugly, except for maybe a couple like the Tesla motors models. As for the AirPod, it’s even an exception among that crowd. Simply put, it might be the definition of fugly. I don’t care if it’s “clean” or any of that. I don’t care if it doesn’t pollute and has no gas emissions. I don’t care if it farts out cancer-curing particles as it drives. The options we face here are either to: a) become clean and make the world a better place, populating it even more as health increases; or b) keep the world as it is, with population in check and possibly decreasing as pollution increases. Sure, option (a) would be dandy, but it comes packaged together with fugly things and a full disrespect for aesthetics such as the existence of green cars like the AirPod, whereas option (b) might not be all too great in the long-term but at least it involves a lot of good-looking and “sexy” aspects that make Earth look like a dope place to be from a “yo, that’s cool” perspective for any outside “Alienz” that might be looking on with envy. Option (b) is clearly the way to go. The only redeeming feature about the AirPod is that it seems to have a pretty sweet tint job. That’s not enough though.

The Hybrid Beast - No Beauty

Why is it always that fixing one thing breaks another? Here, the Toyota peeps wanted to fix the environmental pollution and gas-guzzling issues, yet they just blatantly and cold-bloodedly killed aesthetics. They must have realized at some point that this was one of the ugliest cars to ever make it into production, but it seems like they must have “calculated” or “forecast via statistical and mathematical modeling” that the motivations that drive demand will more heavily weigh the “green” aspect of the car than the “that looks like shit” aspect of the car.

What’s wrong with it? If you have to ask, you need to see the eye-doctor. Then come to us. We’ll punch you in the face, break your kneecaps, and rip off your nails – threatening to do it again unless you start hating the Toyota Prius (do not attempt this at home – or anywhere for that matter). Just look at that thing. Even neutral colors won’t make it look any better. It’s as bland and cheapo-looking as a Ford Taurus from the early 90s (or any Taurus really). If this were a normal car that sucked in gas like all others, no doubt no one would buy them. What’s that? Oh, shitter! It’s actually no better than a normal car – normal meaning a good-looking refined-oil-powered “environment destroyer” – that’s right. Yet the damn hippies still swear by the Prius. Clearly shows you how easy it is to brainwash people with the right marketing. We should start raising a fund to create anti-ads for all the cars that are fugly yet managed to sell with “sexy advertising”. Sexy my ass.

Without any redeeming qualities about it, and any claim to “environmental sensitivity” thrown into the crapper with recent tests, the only people who could get away with this car by still being able to live a relatively normal life (and not be affected by the faces of scorn and words of ridicule) are those who are already “cool enough” in people’s eyes that their coolness distracts the eyes and mind from the car. This might include actors (and of course actresses), singers, or just general ballers that roll in piles of dough. And the only reason they could possibly want this car is precisely to stand out even more and get super-special attention – in a positive light as being “environmentally friendly”. Bullshiznat. The only person/thing who knows what they are talking about when describing this car is Achmed The Dead Terrorist when he calls it a lunch box. Cheapo lunchbox though. Construction worker type – not 3rd-grader-from-wealthy-aristocratic-family type.