East German Trabi Traban – in NEON PINK!
Here is another East-German lovely. Funny enough, it looks to be not far off in design from our previously posted Wartburg. Maybe they were all like-minded over there. Oh wait, they were forced to be like-minded during communism – so it would be no surprise if that transcended into every dimension of life, including design. Maybe it was because tastes were the same? Either way, this thingy might have been able to pick up the ladies in its day – but in neon pink?! This dude must have been ultra-desperate. I hope it worked for him – cause I’m sure his ‘bros’ definitely must have alienated him after he got that paint job.
The WAY Too Tricked-Out Pickup Truck
Communities of car enthusiasts host occasional meets-and-greets to showcase their rides, and oftentimes it’s a hit-or-miss outcome. The hits can be sweet rides, and the misses can be a great source of ridiculousness that provides us with a feeding ground for pix and flicks. And here of course is one example, with a crazy-arse pickup truck that’s just a bit over the top. At first glance it might not seem like it, but when you look closer, it’s pretty clear.
So what’s wrong with this seemingly sleek ride? For one, it’s the “pebble effect” or whatever else you might want to call it. What am I referring to? Well, check out the rims for instance. Tons of little beads – they separate the flow and make it look disconnected. And look at that grille guard. Once again, these diamond-beads line the top and bottom (maybe it’s even on the grille itself). But most of all: take a look at the side-view mirrors! WTF?! It’s a friggin guitar head with tuning keys and everything included! So is this a car or a musical instrument? Clearly neither.
Wait – so it’s a video game machine as well? So you’ve got fake instrument side-view mirrors and then fake-instrument game controllers? So what’s the deal here? And is that a television on top there? Cause it definitely looks like it’s the back of a window air conditioning unit that’ll be cooling the front cab of the car. Classy. Oh, and let’s hope that it never starts raining as you’re driving this thing. You know, being practical and all, this ride has 90% of the onboard electronic components exposed to blend with nature. Maybe they’re trying to appeal to the “green” crowd by embracing the outdoors with all that soon-to-be landfill gadgetry.
The Suppository Racer
OK – so there is really not much to say for this one. It’s one of those that you just have to look at one and you already know what everyone’s thinking. Specifically, this lil’ racer looks like it will drive right up your poopshoot, hopefully leaving the wheels behind as it slides into a rectum like your common medical suppository.
Sure, it’s nice and all that someone built this from scratch and put a lot of work into it. But can you just imagine how that same time could have been used for something much more productive? Heck, if you like cars that much, go get yourself a crapper from the salvage yard for $200 and rebuild the thing. That’s fun now – not building some type of torpedo rocket on wheels. Even better, you could have done some good for society (instead of hurting our eyes) – even saving a couple puppies at the shelter. Next time, get on that. Kthxbye.
A Mustang and a Smart Car Sitting in a Tree…
It’s starting to look like there are so many ugly cars out there and so little time to cover them all. We’re thinking that we’ll switch over to a format with even less text so that the visuals can “shine” and speak for themselves. You can use your imagination to ridicule the ugly cars that we expose. Starting with today, which must have included a lot of such imagination just to be able to come up with an incredibly unappealing concoction by cross-mating a mustang with a Smart Car.
Depending on your tastes this picture might be babe-a-licious for you. But definitely independent of your tastes and rather objectively, the ride in the background is just awkward and uncomfortable to look at. It’s one of those cases of stunted growth again. Looks like a dwarfed muscle car. The Smart Car by itself is OK looking and passes overall. The mustang is just a nice-looking car in general. So why ruin both of them at once? Do you have nothing better to do, whoever did this?
At least we all know now what it looks like when you superimpose one of the cars onto the other – Mustang and Smart. But did anyone ask for that? Was anyone actually curious? No! In fact, the result looks like a cheapo home-project. Even reminiscent of communist little cars. Especially the back – where that little ledge just doesn’t make any sense. The true inspiration must be the communist FIat.
The Hummer H3 on Wooden Wheels: Art?
I just don’t get people sometimes. Why in the world would you take a car that’s already ugly and make it even uglier? It’s great for us. We get to showcase the uninteresting Hummer H3 as a car itself and also this specific modified H3 with friggin’ wooden wheels. What’s best of all, they are apparently calling this “art”. I mean I’m no pro or anything at this, but since when did we call “making something incredibly ugly” as equivalent to “art”? And that leads us to the next question: what is the world coming to?
What the heck is going on here? Some are thinking that it’s “baller” and commenting on the “awesomeness” of this. But let’s get real. I don’t care if it’s just for art – it’s clearly impractical. Why in the world would you want to ride on wooden wheels like it’s 1650 if we have put so much money into making whatever tire technology is considered to be the “best” today? But even besides that, take a look at how ugly the Hummer itself is. A simply artless car – without form, without any distinctive presence (except for it’s overly large size), without any appeal. Looks like no inspiration went into this car – except for only maybe the original hummer, which was even uglier than this of course. Like many of the other cars we’ve looked at, including even yesterday’s Mercedes G-class, it’s way too jagged, boxy, cuby, and just too disconnected among the various dimensions. Eww.
If the wheels had some interesting and unique design, if they even had some creative shape, or just some interesting colors, then sure, maybe it could be somehow considered to be “Art”. But what’s so great about this? Simple wood with simple spikes with simple unfinished tree carvings. What’s the big deal? It’s just ugly – and that’s it. The wheels are oversized and the thinness makes them look just ridiculous and out-of-place. Just don’t do this again – ever. Thanks.