Nissan Glider Concept Car
And once again it looks like manufacturers are trying to follow each other on stupid silly trends that do nothing but create ugly cars for our roads. BMW is toying with a “leaning car” concept called simply SIMPLE, and here we see Nissan going for the same “feature” although while also following the misjudgments on design that had them make the Nissan Cube. If this whole leaning trend continues I will personally start a worldwide club of road-protectors whose time will be solely devoted to leaning-car-tipping. Experienced cow-tippers will be the first to get membership.
This thing clearly aims to take cars into a whole new dimension by reversing proportions. Instead of low and wide as most cars are, the Nissan Glider concept is clearly trying to create a trend of narrow and tall – or at least taller than it is wide. We should call it the “fish pucker face” period in car design and quickly ban such proportions.
Daihatsu Picnic Basket
What the heck is this ridiculous-looking thing? The Japanese are just crazy sometimes. Sure they make some of the best, most durable, well-performing cars out there. In fact, most of them look just fine. But why do they suddenly have to make themselves the strange culture again as with their Manga weirdness and be planning production of something that genuinely looks like a picnic basket – hence very aptly named at least?
It sounds like this is just a concept car for now, but let’s all pray and hope that it will never make it into production. There is no reason to make crap if you’re already spending the time and resources to design, plan, and produce something. I wish I were Godzilla and could just pick these little things up all over Japan to right by their basket handle to just throw them into the Ocean.
BMW SIMPLE Leaning Concept Vehicle
It’s painful to see manufacturers that usually create nothing but beauties make something appalling – or even think of making something that clearly doesn’t align with their usually good taste. Poor Mercedes has done it several times: with the A-Class, the G-Class, and the SLA Concept. Yet we rarely see BMW make sure a huge mistake. They’re only thinking about it for now with their SIMPLE concept, but the decision should also be simple in the end – NOT to actually mass-produce it.
This seems to be another unfortunate example where function is prioritized over form. We see it all the time with hybrids, where their “greenness” is supposedly a valid excuse for them being completely unappealing. Here with BMW it’s some “leaning” gimmick where the vehicle “curves with the road” on turns. Forget these types of useless “innovations” and focus on sticking with what works. Everyone would agree that BMW doesn’t need to improve much more on their ultimate driving machines. Yet, they feel the need to scare us with some spaceship that has wheels.
The Nissan Cube Needs to be Recalled
What is it with companies continuing to create these ugly box cars? When Scion did it, they sold a lot not because their car was super hott looking. The only reason they made it big was because Scion’s price tag is so low. People will buy anything for less if it gets them from point A to point B – especially if they can get a new car for less than anywhere else. Yet other manufacturers simply associated the Box design as being a smash hit – and unfortunate for the rest of us, started copying the design. Don’t they see that these cars are hideous?
The Nissan Cube is one serious uggler. It doesn’t even play off the “bad-ass” vibe like the straight-edged and corner-cut Scion xB. It has this bubbly aspect to it as if trying to be cute. Well, it fails on all angles. And when did Nissan miss one of the central points of human appeal – symmetry? I believe they use that as a guideline for every other model they produce – so why not on the Cube? Probably because they knew it would be doomed to fugly-hell, and so why not pretend like you ‘meant’ to make it completely unattractive in the first place.
I sincerely hope that Nissan Cube owners will become so used to have a full view behind them to the back-right that they forget that there is for some stupid reason an obstruction on the back-left, resulting in careless driving mistakes when backing up and multiple crashes throughout the owner’s lifetime. They’ll be minor enough that nothing will happen to the driver (after all, they’ll be going in reverse), but still of course memorable enough that even those who gave this uggler a try will associate nothing but hate and annoyance with the Cube. Luckily they’re being recalled, but for a small fault. Hopefully soon they will all be recalled for being butt-ugly.
East German Trabi Traban – in NEON PINK!
Here is another East-German lovely. Funny enough, it looks to be not far off in design from our previously posted Wartburg. Maybe they were all like-minded over there. Oh wait, they were forced to be like-minded during communism – so it would be no surprise if that transcended into every dimension of life, including design. Maybe it was because tastes were the same? Either way, this thingy might have been able to pick up the ladies in its day – but in neon pink?! This dude must have been ultra-desperate. I hope it worked for him – cause I’m sure his ‘bros’ definitely must have alienated him after he got that paint job.
Wartburg 353 Rusty Multicolored
Here is a non-classic and non-classy wanna-be classy classic. Straight from the source of its own motherland in East Germany, the Wartburg 353 is aptly names – as it’s just as appealing as a wart. In fact, funny enough, multi-colored warts are even more infected and bothersome than just continuous single-colored warts. Who wouldn’t want a nice “sky-and-clouds” themed (Wart)burg in their garage?!
