Renault Trafic Panel Van
Today, Jalopnik.com ‘made a funny’ by featuring cars in which you could live once your house gets repossessed. So we thought why make a new theme for the day – let’s just continue on what’s already been made popular. We’d like to add our own little (or rather, big) fugly ride to the list, which would also potentially serve as lodging if necessary. Yet I wouldn’t wish it upon anyone to drive in this thing, let alone sleep in it. We will go ahead and also call this a FuglyRides.com original production (to some extent) because we have our own pictures of it – just like we were able to originally deliver images of the communist van from last week. Today we look at the horrendously boxy Renault Trafic Panel Van. Yup, it is indeed another Renault, which gives the French a back-to-back double feature. Aptly named, this van undoubtedly stops all traffic within sight as drivers all around lament the contamination of our roads.
Looking at the front, you all should be trained enough by now to notice the immediate mistake numero uno: mixing ugly and plain black plastic with nice ‘n shiny metal chassis. That’s a big no-no. Exposed plastic like that on a car should translate into “don’t do it” in any language, even the French one. Aside from that, it’s got that huge windshield, incredibly steep slant, and weak/rounded headlights. It looks like a helpless little mouse scouring for cheese – with big eyes to suggests its innocence and vulnerability. Who the heck wants a damn cargo van that looks too wussy for a soccer mom to drive? Its face is way to “smiley” and all happy. The out-bulging that the black plastic bumper is sporting is also not a good look. It creates another one of those “underbite” effects.
Now what comes to mind when you see the back? Ew! Ew! Ew! Ew! Ew! Precisely. Once again, here we go with the plastic. Didn’t the Honda Element teach car-makers anything. It wasn’t voted ugliest car all over the place for nothing. Why invite yourself into the same category? The Renault Trafic makes it even worse by pretending that it’s got some grandiose “columns” like an expensive bed headboard. I guess they do want you to sleep in it. Even worse though, this back view exposes the uber-boxy nature of this van. That’s just hideous from all sides. And check out that slight bump above the seating-cabin toward the front. Is that a design thing or does it serve a function during roll-overs? By itself it just looks like the car already has a bump from a roll-over. And just when you thought that all hope is lost…you’re right. They could have at least done something neutral with the rims. But no! They thought, why not include the cheapest possible kind of rims that we can get past quality control. Weak, crappy, thin metal. That’s all we’ll do for ya. After all, what can you expect? It’s not like the best rims out there could make up for the rest of that beast.
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the renault trafic is *supposedly* designed to look like a snake!